The last post ended, "Everything was wonderful, right? Yes, but..."

The last post ended, "Everything was wonderful, right? Yes, but..."

Well, I had a post written that explained everything that happened next. I may share that someday but for right now, it's not the time. The summary of the post I wrote is that, once again, a couple of well-intentioned people, that we love dearly, began sharing their opinions on what they thought was best for our marriage and our business because we are married. It was opinions, not Biblical principles. This is an important distinction. My initial thoughts were to consider the opinions as being from God. Once I talked to God, I realized they were not from Him and I moved on. The opinions were repeated several times which became confusing and disruptive advice that, frankly, made me mad. My other post focused a lot on the being mad part. It's really okay that I got mad. I think people need to realize that its okay to get mad but the more important point is that I could not stay mad. So I decided to learn. I decided to learn from the experience and learn what, if anything, I'm supposed to do about it. The following paragraph is the conclusion of about 18 months of struggling with my aggravation and searching for peace in what I was supposed to learn.

One thing that I have been learning throughout my walk with God is not to get mad at God for what people do. I've had multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple, multiple (you get the point?) opportunities to practice this. This was another one of those times. We are all people and we all screw up, spiritual leaders included. We cannot allow ourselves to put other Christians on such an elevation that their faults shake our faith in God. For me, this is an especially important lesson as it applies to leaders. Although I did not get mad a God specifically, I allowed the anger to settle in and stay for a while. This brought more confusion and more frustration because I really did not know why this was bothering me so badly.
What I realized through all of this is that having grown up without my father around since about age 7, there were things in my emotions that were effected that I had not dealt with. I was determined to believe my parents' divorce did not effect me, I'm Wonder Woman, remember? The fact is that when I need guidance, I still long for a father-figure. This desire causes me to have a tendency to put the opinion of men that I respect before God and what He is speaking to me. I have to learn that God wants to be my father-figure. God IS my Father. I mean, I know this but I need to KNOW this, understand it, remember it at all times, and stay close to Him at all times. I still seek the advise of those that I respect because the Bible says there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors. However, it's always very general and I continue pray about what God wants me to do and what God has shown me. I trust and believe that God is not a respecter of persons and He talks to me about my life and business just like He talks to spiritual leaders about their life and ministry. At the moment, I've shelved the idea of having advisers who know the specifics of our business/finances, etc. and I'm concentrating on hearing from God about where to go and what to do. Honestly, it seems to me like this is not as easy as having a human dad/mentor that I could go to and talk to about anything. It seems to me that it's not as easy as having a human dad/mentor that will tell me what he thinks about what I'm dealing with. However, God being perfect and all, I know that when I tune in and listen to His will and His Word, He never gives me bad advice.

Two weeks later......

As usual, I wrote this post and kept it saved as a draft for a while before posting. Since I wrote this post on the revelation that God gave me, doors have opened for me to have conversations with advisers and leaders I respect. We are receiving specific counsel for our business and finances and I am very excited. What I recognized in each of the conversations that I've had so far, I felt no emotion during the conversation. It was business. I did not put myself in a position emotionally or psychologically of being a child talking to a father-figure. I am an adult, I am an entrepreneur and I'm receiving information and insight from another entrepreneur who specializes in a certain field of business. It's business. Period.

I cannot effectively describe in words the release, the freedom this revelation provides. Denying that the past has an effect only prevents us from moving past it. Joyce Meyer talks about "making one more trip around the mountain" for us to learn a lesson. I'm thankful that this is not a mountain I will have to circle any longer. God is so good to me, all the time. :)